Category: halloween

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This weekend was insane with very little play off… I think I am gonna be a little dumb this week at work each day… just gotta fly under the radar till Halloween, wish me luck peeps

Tomorrow…

Ok guys tomorrow is the halloween garage sale. Feel free to dress up and be silly. For the people selling stuff. Make sure to label or make a visible list of your prices tonight so you are ready to go. The set tables have pre booked owners but if you show up with stuff you can barter to share space if the pre bookers let you. It all starts at noon at Collective but you can show up when every you want. Goes until 8 so feel free to hang out all day if you wish. Its up to you.  Keep it spoopy!If anyone wants me after that I will be at Eyesore later in the day getting drunk at Video Store day. So tomorrow is an EPIC geek sale day! SPOOOOPPYYY!!!

31 days of HalloweenersVideo Dead (1987)Watche…

31 days of Halloweeners

Video Dead (1987)

Watched this tonight in a bars bad movie night with a crowd of people who mostly seemed to have never seen it before. 

It, at least to me, is one of the most iconic covers in the vhs release wave of movies.  Once I had got into the bad movie and b movie world I had constantly been curious of this film. Thinking by its cover and release date that it was a shot on video bit of weird gore gem like a 

Olaf Ittenbach movie or worse something like Gore Met the zombie chef from hell type of movie. If you don’t know what those movies feel free to message me and I will talk for hours about that crap. 

However Video Dead is not. It is an extremely cheap b movie with no real names. But it is not shot on video and is actually spoof many of the director to vhs horror films at the time, before it was good to homage that kind of thing. As well as making some directly spoofing references to Poltergeist. 

The movie is two teenagers who are alone in their parents new hours for a week and get a mystery old tv that is haunted and causes zombies to come out and attack people on their block. You know normal everyday stuff. 

Note of Michael st Michael the old man from Greasy Strangler appearing in the opening scene of Video Dead.

This movie is a fun little bit of silliness and a few fun horror gags. Like a iron bashed into a zombies head and a dead movie shoved in a washing machine. You know good clean fun.

You know I love the washing machine gag as it is in the opening video for all my old terrible toonie videos and stays in the intros to my live events.

The 80s hairs and styles are a lot of fun as they again feel like they are mocking what was still happening. 

Don’t get me wrong this movie is no Terrorvision which is amazing. But for a while shout factory released Video Dead on a double bill blu ray with Terrorvision so you got them both anyways. 

What is Terrorvision you say? The other bigger and silly and funnier movie with insane 80s fashions and monsters from tv sets. But again if you I don’t talk about that amazing movie over the season feel free to message me and we will talk for eons.

But Video Dead is a lot of fun in a group as it has some cheap mistakes but doesn’t take away from the silly monster mash of a movie that it is.  Not for horror snobs that cant have a sense of humor and irony. So perfect for a dork like me 🙂 

Bikini Swamp Girl Massacre (2014)Doesn’t Bikin…

Bikini Swamp Girl Massacre (2014)

Doesn’t Bikini Girl Swamp Massacre make more sense?

I am trying to find ever b horror that is a riff on Slumber party massacre… so something to do with girls and usually the word massacre.  There are so many.. last slumber party, clown camp massacre, summer camp massacre, psycho sleepover, cheerleader massacre 1 and 2, Spring break massacre camp… yeah there is a lot and pretty much all crap. Yet some crap in an entertaining way. Bikini Girl Swamp Massacre is… alllmost that. It had one or two wink wink silly parts to admit to you that they know this movie stinks but for how stinky this movie is I am very impressed how straight they play it. 

A group of women go on a backwoods retreat in the adirondacks with a swamp tour guide. A tour guy that already accidental fed some other tourists to an insane man in the swamp. The girls are shockingly attractive for this cheap a movie but its the suuuuuuper fucking awkward killer that will make you remember this one. The killer is not just some random masked assailant. He is a tomahawk waving insane native stereotype headhunter. Going by the name of 

Coowahchohee and talking in a racist Tonto accent with face paint similar to that of the cannibals from Cannibal Ferox. As soon as you meet the killer its obvious that it is played by a white guy so immediately you just wanna say RAAACCIST. But what makes it ALMOST interesting is that it becomes obvious that the killer is a white man who just lost his mind after living in the swamp for too long and he thinks he is some mixed up stereotype persona. … I guess that makes it better. I guess?

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Also the real charm is the terrible acting and the lack of music. People get killed and the actresses barely react. Same with all the walk on extras who deliver all the dead pan. “Oh no 

Coowahchohee please don’t kill me… oh no… please no.. oh no.” Their line delivers are so dead pan and emotional at first I thought it was that the characters are being sarcastic… buuuut I think its just literally reading off cue cards. OR just shit acting….. pssst secret is… its just shit acting.

There is barely any plot. Some funny stuff at the beginning a decent final girl escapes the killer scene at the end. But outside of that you just watch one of the girls fuck up her foot and then we watch everyone freak out about for for like 30 odd minutes.

Strange however cause sometimes when the girls are talking to each other they seem to get into the roles. Then the very next second they sound like kids who were forced into performing a high school play in front of their parents. I can’t possible type words lackluster enough to do it justice. I dare you to experience. Drink a few margaritas first though .

Mr Butt had an awesome Pinky Violence screening tonight.. but the I watched a 31 days of halloween crap horror film…. And holy shit folks I think I watched one of the worst for the season. I am trying to watch cheesy b horror films I have not scene before.. and this is a dangerous landmind field to walk in.

31 days of Halloweeners

31 days of Halloweeners

JACK-O (1995)

I always thought this was even older then 1995.  Anyways I have spoken about this movie to death… read my first book on bad movies it is definitely in there on how it introduced me and addicted me on home made horror crapola.

Hilarious cheap and feels like a bad nickelodeon kids horror movie except we sees boobs and people get brutally killed with the most cliche homemade gore gags.

A little boy, played by the director sons and who looks like he hates doing anything in this movie, is haunted by the family curse of the killer pumpkin man. Some how he stops the pumpkin man after a few random neighbours are killed on halloween night. How he does it is not important just know it feels like a Canadian made for tv movie in the 80s but shockingly isn’t. One actress won her role in the movie on the Phil Donahue show as a P R stunt for this no budget movie and for an excuse to not have to pay an actress. 

Best parts are the legendary scream queen Linnea Quigley as the babysitter that has a no reason show. Quigley looking in that odd random of sometimes looks 21 other seconds looks 49. Odd. I love her so though 🙂

Then the cameos by two legends of b film that had been dead for years as they cut in scenes of Cameron Mitchell and John Carradine. Carradine is in fact a major part of the plot and they speak his his ghosts, which is obviously blurred in his face from another movie and dubbing over random dialog.

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Fred Olen Ray produced it but basically as a way to use no money and get his name on Phil Donahue in a horror movie mix media stunt. He obviously didn’t care what actually happened to the film. Thus leading to a dvd release 20 years later and having one of the worst commentary track ever. Search youtube as it has the commentary track on it and you hear Olen ray seem to get into a legit fight with the director. It is amazingly awkward. Almost as amazingly awkward as the awful performance by one of the worst child actors ever. I think the kid hated doing it so much he is pouting and not acting on purpose to upset his dad. Or he was sedated on heavy drugs.. one of those two is the right answer I am sure of it.

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I screened it tonight to the secret film club at Eyesore. Only about 10 people there and all were top notch regulars though. Remind me not to have a film partying gathering the same night the Laserblast guys do I guess… waahhh waahhhh. Smallest audience I think I have had yet. I hope that is not a sign of the time. But even if it is it was a great audience that totally got it and enjoyed it. Also kudos to the two raffle prize winners and Andy for bringing extra halloween goodie bags to go along with all the candy and junk food I brought to the party. Hope to see you wacky people again soon. Gatherings for B cheesy horror films are the best. 

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Halloween is in full effect now.

wwymt:Time, Delta & Money talk German Movie Genres, Jessica…

wwymt:

Time, Delta & Money talk German Movie Genres, Jessica Falling, Type Casting Cuba Gooding Jr, Looney Tunes, White Women Be Crazy, Racism, Sexual Assault, Child Rape, and Space Turtles in this complete rip off of a movie.

wwymt: Time, Delta & Money talk German Movie Genres, Jessica…

wwymt:

Time, Delta & Money talk German Movie Genres, Jessica Falling, Type Casting Cuba Gooding Jr, Looney Tunes, White Women Be Crazy, Racism, Sexual Assault, Child Rape, and Space Turtles in this complete rip off of a movie.

wwymt:Time, Delta & Money talk German Movie Genres, Jessica…

wwymt:

Time, Delta & Money talk German Movie Genres, Jessica Falling, Type Casting Cuba Gooding Jr, Looney Tunes, White Women Be Crazy, Racism, Sexual Assault, Child Rape, and Space Turtles in this complete rip off of a movie.

wwymt: Time, Delta & Money talk German Movie Genres, Jessica…

wwymt:

Time, Delta & Money talk German Movie Genres, Jessica Falling, Type Casting Cuba Gooding Jr, Looney Tunes, White Women Be Crazy, Racism, Sexual Assault, Child Rape, and Space Turtles in this complete rip off of a movie.