Category: halloween

Evil Clutch (1988)

What an amazing poster for a movie not exactly that badass. Which may explain why Troma had been able to snag the distrobution rights. The movie is kinda cool though.

Called Il Bosco 1 (the foresst 1) in Italy (the films country of origin) adding the one to mock the trend of horror sequels. Its super odd that the movie does that as its not a comedy. Instead its a heavy homage to horror movies stereotypes and shots told in an usual beat with several aside sections , which is kind of like family guy so many it is a comedy and I just didnt get the joke. I mean the monsters do look wacky and there is a crotch but just becaise Troma sells this you need to remember this is an Italian ghost movie.

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Fun goopy make up and a weird nu wave rocker girl who is secretly or not so secretly a demon.. yet she laughs like a witch and has vampire fangs. She does kill a guy in the first minute by ripping his balls off, so kudos for her. I enjoyed the weird random characters like a goggle wearing old man that tells stories with a throat voice box.  

Also take a drink when someone says the word weird. 

It is legit weird but it takes a long time to get to the head ripping zombie monsters and hen they do show up they feel like something straight outta Spookies. .. oh shit maybe I should just watch Spookies.

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Picture above is not someone from the movie. 

Basic premiss of a young couple go on a trip to the country side out side of venice where they meet the early mentioned demon girl, but honestly everything they meet seems odd and creepy so they were fucked before they even went in the woods and the Sam Raimi shots start happening.

Also take a big drink when the main characters whistle a copy rightly vage version of Whistle while we work from Snow White. It’s extremely awkward.

There is some classic iltalian horror gore and moody music but it feels like it doesnt matter making it miss the punch it could have had. Imagine a more self aware Ghosthouse. Worth a watch but maybe be less sober than I.

Again beware the crotch monster.

So you could watch this euro spook show inside joke called Evil Clutch (not really a haunted purse) or you can listen to the song Evil by Clutch… or both…

See No Evil 2 (2014)

WWE films bring us the return of the 

Mayor of Knox County Glenn “Kane”Jacobs as the madmen and slasher stereotype Jacob Goodnight. 

In an indirect nod to Halloween 2 we get locked into a hospital when the massive killer wakes up on the morge table and goes back to killing atttractive young people in the name of his mother. 

This movie also got some bad press but honestly not as bad as people say. The Soska sisters directed this one and they often get a bad rap of being “too hip” for old fart horror fans like me, but I don’t see it. Sure there are many slasher stereotypical rules in this one but personally I feel any good and “fun” slasher needs that. The movie is very straight forward stalk and slash sequel that you can accept thaat the killer Goodnight is obviously a homage to Jason Vorhees and every slasher like that. Once you get over that it’s pretty easy to enjoy.

People told me there was not much blood and the acting was bad which again I dont see. Danielle Harris ,

Kaj-Erik Eriksen

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Katharine Isabelle are pretty solid. 

Katharine Isabelle may just be homaging Elvira a bit and looks a little tired but she is still beautiful and enjoyable. Also Danielle Harris is adorable, tough and tiny as always as I never doubted for a second. She is wonderful even in the shittiest of movies. 

Goodnights kills are pretty creative with slow ugly deaths. Lots of chains and broken bones. Look for a great if not odd drill from under the bed trick.

Yes some of the best looking shots are flashbacks and the “final kill” is very weak but I feel it is souly to blame for WWEs film budgets and short shoot time is to blame . You know me usually I am unforgiving for a bad “last kill” but even that I didn’t like it Im sure it looked better on paper. There is an aful dragged out set of images to pad the last 2 minutes which is proof of no reshoot restrictions, which are just a natural thing to need. Soskas have their Rabid remake touring now. I have heard some rough reviews but this movie has taught me to hold my judgement till I see it. Cause seriously folks us reviewers dont know shit… read me for fun not guidance. I might guide you into traffic. Buuut reeeeggaaardless.. I enjoyed See No Evil 2.

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Kept Halloween alive one more day.

Finally saw the new Halloween tonight, when it was over I liked it. Took a bit to get me to like it. Spoiler free…Once the super awkward setting up that you know and understand who Myers is and you know and understand that there were no other sequels before this then finally the movie becomes quiet good. Likeable characters and the pointless characters are an excellent metaphor that many won’t get. Myers is totally cold and bad ass. Sure Laurie is just being Sara Connor but she is actually quite good at it.  It is also the first retro slasher that is filmed like an old school slasher without trying to “homage” it or make it hip. The lighting and pacing was great. The gore was often off camera but felt like it was for a reason not because of cheapness. The pacing made the violence feel fairly brutal.The use of the theme song as a slow sad version was actually really dumb but maybe just dumb to me because of how often I watch sitcoms and cartoons do that. Great twists , great ending and great use of Fate as the people around you deep down mean nothing when your fate as set… but dont worry its just a movie.

I still love the wacky Halloween 2 but this reimagining does give you a lot to talk about.

It’s HALLOWEEN! 5 dollar double bill. … pre partying start at 7pm and the first film is sharp at 8pm at Eyesore Cinema in Toronto… Comic book prizes for early arrivals that buy a ticket. THIS JUST IN THE FIRST MOVIE IS PRESENTED IN GLORIOUS VHS!

Candy and prizes and the cheapest double bill you will ever see with a wackiest audience ever.

So if your not local sorry I wont be online much … but its freakin halloween.. expect lots of wacky posts for Nov 1st… if Halloween is All Hollows eve then Nov 1st but be All Hallow.

These two want you to come to my Halloween party at Eyesore Cinema tomorrow in Toronto … get there before 8 to catch both movies… 5 bucks for two flicks 

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This weekend was insane with very little play off… I think I am gonna be a little dumb this week at work each day… just gotta fly under the radar till Halloween, wish me luck peeps

Ok guys tomorrow is the halloween garage sale. Feel free to dress up and be silly. For the people selling stuff. Make sure to label or make a visible list of your prices tonight so you are ready to go. The set tables have pre booked owners but if you show up with stuff you can barter to share space if the pre bookers let you. It all starts at noon at Collective but you can show up when every you want. Goes until 8 so feel free to hang out all day if you wish. Its up to you.  Keep it spoopy!If anyone wants me after that I will be at Eyesore later in the day getting drunk at Video Store day. So tomorrow is an EPIC geek sale day! SPOOOOPPYYY!!!

31 days of Halloweeners

Video Dead (1987)

Watched this tonight in a bars bad movie night with a crowd of people who mostly seemed to have never seen it before. 

It, at least to me, is one of the most iconic covers in the vhs release wave of movies.  Once I had got into the bad movie and b movie world I had constantly been curious of this film. Thinking by its cover and release date that it was a shot on video bit of weird gore gem like a 

Olaf Ittenbach movie or worse something like Gore Met the zombie chef from hell type of movie. If you don’t know what those movies feel free to message me and I will talk for hours about that crap. 

However Video Dead is not. It is an extremely cheap b movie with no real names. But it is not shot on video and is actually spoof many of the director to vhs horror films at the time, before it was good to homage that kind of thing. As well as making some directly spoofing references to Poltergeist. 

The movie is two teenagers who are alone in their parents new hours for a week and get a mystery old tv that is haunted and causes zombies to come out and attack people on their block. You know normal everyday stuff. 

Note of Michael st Michael the old man from Greasy Strangler appearing in the opening scene of Video Dead.

This movie is a fun little bit of silliness and a few fun horror gags. Like a iron bashed into a zombies head and a dead movie shoved in a washing machine. You know good clean fun.

You know I love the washing machine gag as it is in the opening video for all my old terrible toonie videos and stays in the intros to my live events.

The 80s hairs and styles are a lot of fun as they again feel like they are mocking what was still happening. 

Don’t get me wrong this movie is no Terrorvision which is amazing. But for a while shout factory released Video Dead on a double bill blu ray with Terrorvision so you got them both anyways. 

What is Terrorvision you say? The other bigger and silly and funnier movie with insane 80s fashions and monsters from tv sets. But again if you I don’t talk about that amazing movie over the season feel free to message me and we will talk for eons.

But Video Dead is a lot of fun in a group as it has some cheap mistakes but doesn’t take away from the silly monster mash of a movie that it is.  Not for horror snobs that cant have a sense of humor and irony. So perfect for a dork like me 🙂