Category: bad movie

Takes a deep breathe…. When Adam a homo…

Takes a deep breathe…. When Adam a homo erotic artist who’s wheelchair ridden boyfriend is shot by a killer and his baby yeti is kidnapped by the killer pimp, he must go under cover into a underbelly of the city to find what kind of a pimp would actually want to steal a baby yeti anyways.

Yes, that is what kind of a fucking movie we have gotten into.

 Messed up penis and cum jokes and super cheesy jokes and puns somehow added on top of that somehow mixed with a zero budget John Wick sub plott. Added a muppet baby Yeti and a full sized prostitute yeti out for revenge… and I still don’t know what I just watched.  When they go into the most perverted strip club you have seen since you went to church last week and randomly come across an animated snow man for no reason at all you know this isn’t going to start making sense.  The muppet yeti looks like someone from Wonder Showzen and the killer pimp sounds like Teen Ape… it all feels so familiar but pummels you with dick jobs that may be “rubbing” too hard.

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Oh wait… this is a sequel… oh shit .. really? Wow… and it hasn’t crossed with Chris Seavers Sexsquatch? What… this crossed out movie gets kinda dark…  Though it doesn’t take it’s self serious… just .. umm… rougher?

If you are afraid of a penis you will be afraid of this movie as there is A LOT of penis. A LOT! But if this is what you have been waiting for in your monster comedies then have at it!

She Kills meets Grand theft auto Vice City vs A homo erotic toxic avenger and killer condom sprinkled on top of an episode of South park … thats basically what this is…. I dare you to watch it. 

I have been curious to watch this since I saw …

I have been curious to watch this since I saw everything is terrible edited it down to every seen Gary Busey calls someone a butthorn. Honestly it is a lot of fun but he does not actually call people butthorn enough for my liking. The film was written by Fred Olen Ray so you have to have a tad bit of an open mind and think maybe it was not written to be as serious as the movie ended up. It starts as a complete Lethal Weapon rip off (made a year after Busey played the villain in the first Lethal Weapon movie) . Busey plays a gun crazy cop called Mcbain who has an old partner that you literally wait for him to say “i’m too old for this shit”. The weapons heist they deal with in the opening scene is a lot of fun and I kind of wish the whole movie was that. However the movie quickly goes away from that as we discover Mcbain was an ex secret agent and gets suckered into going to Mexico on a secret agent style mission. Playing the silly character that is secretly an amazing bad ass gets put into a stereotypically foreign enemy territory. Henry Silva plays an amazing military bad guy (as always). There is a hilariously americana flag waving scene between Silva and 

Darlanne Fluegel but then when you start to laugh at it it turns super dark and the fun is gone again. Because Silva is incredible good at being a creepy ass bad guy. Even when he is written in a terrible racial stereotype and .

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 Busey is nick named Bulletproof cause he looks unthreatening but he is so tough he takes a bullet and keeps coming while making sarcastic comments on the way.. so obviously he was the man they chose to fight guerrilla soldiers, free captive soldiers and retrieve a government super weapon called Thunderblast (which looks right out of a Roger Moore James Bond Flick). This movie plays out way too seriously for such a ridiculous super agent story and dumb sounding secret weapon.  Busey gets less and less funny as the movie goes on and then starts up a little again near the end as if they forgot that was the point. Infact a scene involving the Thunderblast and Busey is almost straight out slapstick with a wah wah joke in it. Also a scene with Busey and a giant wheel that is straight up 80s Jackie Chan action silliness. There was an awesome movie in here somewhere, it just gets lost pretty easily.  The scenes with Darlanne Fluegel are however so over the top dramatic you cant take understand how its matching with the funny scenes. Her and Busey do end up shooting and blowing up a lot of people though.  That is a charm of 80s action flicks they didn’t need to be one way or the other, they just did what they wanted to do and you kind of have to respect them for that.

A scene to remember in this is when they again make an accidental reference to Lethal Weapon there is a scene where Busey sits on a beach and remembers his ex girlfriend as we hear a sexy saxaphone playing which just seems cheesy until you realise its Busey playing the saxophone and then it just feels hilarious. But.. was it supposed to be hilarious? I am not sure. It is worth a watch for 80s action fans at least once though ya butthorns.

Recently it was available on an action movie 4 pack.  So it was totally worth the money.

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Shakin out the cobwebs.. wow

Another badmovie marathon pitch by you guys has come and gone. Thanks so much for those that requested the movies and those that read the reviews and commented. Feel free to download my e books for more nonsense and donate to my madness. I am hosting a super b movie night in Toronto at eyesore cinema on the 14th , if you are local come and check it out.  I think I need to watch some golden girl dvds to clear my head but honestly on comparison to previous fan picked marathon this one was legit fun all the way through. Even I know who killed me and Assault on Sasquatch are worth watching once. The others are movies that I will definitely watch again or at least have fond memories of. Guess its a good time I didnt charge for votes this time cause it was not as painful as expected. I will never watch Titanic 2 ever again but I’m glad I did once for the sheer stupidity.  See you all again at my next social experiment… I now return to posting pictures of horror movies and or cats.

Just finished the first movie in the pain a th…

Just finished the first movie in the pain a thon.. half way through the second, had a nice breakfast and already wondering what am I doing with my life… Anyways the first movie was Amityville Curse from 1990 . Look at that cover it is not even the Amityville house and there is some person just “hanging around” on the cover lol. Another spook house film thats a metaphor for wife abuse and mixes other 70s horror tropes and cliches in a Canadian made for tv kinda budget . 

There are so many cheesy Amityville sequels , rip offs , spin offs… i mean since it was a real house i guess anyone can use the name. Recently there are dozens using the name for shot on digital video zero budget movies like Amityville Death house by Mark Polonia. Well Amityville CURSE that i grabbed from Eyesore cinema was made in 1990 so its a little more polished than that. Has some great looking set pieces in the house and some eerie music and mists and event some cool creepy zombie like ghosts. It feels like many of the witchboard spin offs of bad hair weird looking couples in a haunted house. They are all real actors but feel like they should stay to mid day television. Unlikeable movie but not exactly a bad movie. I would watch Witchboard instead though. Perhaps the only Amityville i recommend thats worth more than one watch is part 2 the possession, its nice and freaky and has a few twists worth while. But this is not that.   ok the next movie is almost half over….. hang on i will be back..

Scheduling Conflict Mode: Activate!

Scheduling Conflict Mode: Activate!

97- Lost In Space (1998) Time, Eug, and Skyla…

97- Lost In Space (1998)

Time, Eug, and Skylar talk about Mary Kate and Ashley Tourism, Klorps, Insane Don West Deals, Skylar’s Science Lesson, Heat Mouth, and Time Travel Confusion during a movie that doesn’t even pay attention to itself.

wwymt: Jimmy Time and Jay Delta talk about B…

wwymt:

Jimmy Time and Jay Delta talk about Beach Porn Delta, Space Japanese Cats, Subways, A Criminal Orgy, The Power of Teachers, Too Old for Carnivals, White Castle, Stagehand Fun, Worst Political Candidate Ever, and Reboot Monkey during a movie that’s both Too Real and Too Fake.

wwymt: Jimmy Time and Jay Delta talk about Be…

wwymt:

Jimmy Time and Jay Delta talk about Beach Porn Delta, Space Japanese Cats, Subways, A Criminal Orgy, The Power of Teachers, Too Old for Carnivals, White Castle, Stagehand Fun, Worst Political Candidate Ever, and Reboot Monkey during a movie that’s both Too Real and Too Fake.

wwymt: Jimmy Time and Jay Delta talk about Be…

wwymt:

Jimmy Time and Jay Delta talk about Beach Porn Delta, Space Japanese Cats, Subways, A Criminal Orgy, The Power of Teachers, Too Old for Carnivals, White Castle, Stagehand Fun, Worst Political Candidate Ever, and Reboot Monkey during a movie that’s both Too Real and Too Fake.

Jimmy Time and Jay Delta talk about Beach Po…

Jimmy Time and Jay Delta talk about Beach Porn Delta, Space Japanese Cats, Subways, A Criminal Orgy, The Power of Teachers, Too Old for Carnivals, White Castle, Stagehand Fun, Worst Political Candidate Ever, and Reboot Monkey during a movie that’s both Too Real and Too Fake.