Category: action

Angel Fist (1993)

From Director Cirio H. Santiago the man who made sooooo many action movies on the super cheap in Manila for producer Roger Corman. 

Cirio H. Santiago is more famous for TNT Jackson and Firecracker which are even more similar than they should be with later made and even dumber Angel Fist.

The plot is.. I think.. it’s not easy to pay attention to… is a competitive martials arts figure is killed when she witnesses a UN delegate being murdered by ninjas. Her sister is played Cat Sassoon who is a detective and also a martial artists. Cat goes to the Philippines trying to infiltrate the underground world  to find her sisters murders which leads her into a martial arts tournament and a rebel terrorist organisation… you know like most murder mysteries do.

Here we show the very obviously dumb and sexis male just added in to spice things up. Does our tough as nails femme fatale hook up with him somehow… spoiler.. yes she does and fucked if I know why.

What makes this movie different from movies like Firecracker is not much (there are scenes that are direct remake scenes) but the odder choices of cast. I was attracted to this ball of cheese because the involvement of Melissa Moore. Melissa was basically a comedic scream queen from classic like Sorority House Massacre 2, Invisible Maniac, Vampire Cop and most know as the nympho cop from Samurai Cop. She is a super tall blonde bombshell that looks much less fake then many of her scream queen peers. She always seemed legitimately cute and funny. She is now a figure for the kentucky derby due to her love of horses… which is odd yet suiting for her beauty,  She is not in the movie much but when she is she is actually pretty good. For someone who did not do action films her scenes were pretty good and she gave it her all. NOW this maybe just because everyone else looks clumsy and dumb but regardless I give Melissa cred for stepping out of her element. I mean she does fight a guy with a buzzsaw at one point. 

Look he legit went after her with a buzzsaw… Melissa you are badass.

This movie does boast itself as if it’s a Cynthia Rothrock level action flick and film it is filmed honestly like one it sure is not one. Especially when you watch the main actress Cat Sassoon. It says on the cover of this movie that she was World Karate Champion… aaaaand I’m thinking that is a lie. Cat Sassoon was the daughter of world famous hair mogel Vidal Sassoon.  She was married off at age 15 to an Italian film producers son while already severals into model around the world. I have looked or her martial arts credits online and as of yet have found nothing but that could be because it is just shadowed in her starlet life and tabloid fame. She would later appear in Blackbelt 1 and 2 and not too many years later pass away of a drug overdose at 33 years old. Cat was 22 when Angel Fist was being made and she looks much older. You spend most of the movie looking at her plastic surgery and odd makeup choices. At some points with the poor film quality it makes her make up job look like she is in accidental black face, NOW may I say I am not her to shame her but her style is so distracting as it makes you not notice how sloppy her martial arts are, it even distracts you from the multiple nude group shower scenes and her top less fight scene (that again is very much like in Firecracker). 

Oh look Ariana Grande joined the deadly martial arts tournament.. no thats Cat Sassoon. That doesn’t seem like regulation gear, but what do I know?

It feels like Cat Sassoon could have been something… like her presence on screen was aaaalmost there but then something went horribly wrong. When looking up her life that ended tragically and lived on the edge it sort of makes sense of many burned out flashes in the pans or tabloid celebrities that attempted and failed to become real actors. After the lowbrow cocaine fueled B movie scenes of the late 80s / early 90s not everyone cashed in their chips and got to settle down like Melissa Moore did. Melissa co starred with legendary porn star Savannah in the horror comedy Invisible Maniac and if you look her up you will find another young whirlwind life that ended very sadly from the pressure and illusions that being a star can bring.

The violence , the set pieces,the ridiculous dialogue and plot are all there but play second to the marketing of these ladies and mainly the confusing lead. It’s a very low brow action movie that is worth seeing for the spectacle of it. Again its super similar to several 70s exploitation movies but in 1993 they made an action movie that ended up as an exploitation movie solely by mistake.

I have been curious to watch this since I saw everything is terrible edited it down to every seen Gary Busey calls someone a butthorn. Honestly it is a lot of fun but he does not actually call people butthorn enough for my liking. The film was written by Fred Olen Ray so you have to have a tad bit of an open mind and think maybe it was not written to be as serious as the movie ended up. It starts as a complete Lethal Weapon rip off (made a year after Busey played the villain in the first Lethal Weapon movie) . Busey plays a gun crazy cop called Mcbain who has an old partner that you literally wait for him to say “i’m too old for this shit”. The weapons heist they deal with in the opening scene is a lot of fun and I kind of wish the whole movie was that. However the movie quickly goes away from that as we discover Mcbain was an ex secret agent and gets suckered into going to Mexico on a secret agent style mission. Playing the silly character that is secretly an amazing bad ass gets put into a stereotypically foreign enemy territory. Henry Silva plays an amazing military bad guy (as always). There is a hilariously americana flag waving scene between Silva and 

Darlanne Fluegel but then when you start to laugh at it it turns super dark and the fun is gone again. Because Silva is incredible good at being a creepy ass bad guy. Even when he is written in a terrible racial stereotype and .

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 Busey is nick named Bulletproof cause he looks unthreatening but he is so tough he takes a bullet and keeps coming while making sarcastic comments on the way.. so obviously he was the man they chose to fight guerrilla soldiers, free captive soldiers and retrieve a government super weapon called Thunderblast (which looks right out of a Roger Moore James Bond Flick). This movie plays out way too seriously for such a ridiculous super agent story and dumb sounding secret weapon.  Busey gets less and less funny as the movie goes on and then starts up a little again near the end as if they forgot that was the point. Infact a scene involving the Thunderblast and Busey is almost straight out slapstick with a wah wah joke in it. Also a scene with Busey and a giant wheel that is straight up 80s Jackie Chan action silliness. There was an awesome movie in here somewhere, it just gets lost pretty easily.  The scenes with Darlanne Fluegel are however so over the top dramatic you cant take understand how its matching with the funny scenes. Her and Busey do end up shooting and blowing up a lot of people though.  That is a charm of 80s action flicks they didn’t need to be one way or the other, they just did what they wanted to do and you kind of have to respect them for that.

A scene to remember in this is when they again make an accidental reference to Lethal Weapon there is a scene where Busey sits on a beach and remembers his ex girlfriend as we hear a sexy saxaphone playing which just seems cheesy until you realise its Busey playing the saxophone and then it just feels hilarious. But.. was it supposed to be hilarious? I am not sure. It is worth a watch for 80s action fans at least once though ya butthorns.

Recently it was available on an action movie 4 pack.  So it was totally worth the money.

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wwymt:

Time, Delta and Skylar talk about Pirates, Anti-Titanic, Fruit Merchandising, French France Florida, Sneaky Godzilla, Women and Children first, Why Is He Called Animal?, Reverse Infomercial, Who’s The Real Monster? in this Long and Boring Action movie.

wwymt:

Time, Delta and Skylar talk about Pirates, Anti-Titanic, Fruit Merchandising, French France Florida, Sneaky Godzilla, Women and Children first, Why Is He Called Animal?, Reverse Infomercial, Who’s The Real Monster? in this Long and Boring Action movie.

wwymt:

Time, Delta and Skylar talk about Pirates, Anti-Titanic, Fruit Merchandising, French France Florida, Sneaky Godzilla, Women and Children first, Why Is He Called Animal?, Reverse Infomercial, Who’s The Real Monster? in this Long and Boring Action movie.

wwymt:

Time, Delta and Skylar talk about Pirates, Anti-Titanic, Fruit Merchandising, French France Florida, Sneaky Godzilla, Women and Children first, Why Is He Called Animal?, Reverse Infomercial, Who’s The Real Monster? in this Long and Boring Action movie.

wwymt:

Time, Delta and Skylar talk about Pirates, Anti-Titanic, Fruit Merchandising, French France Florida, Sneaky Godzilla, Women and Children first, Why Is He Called Animal?, Reverse Infomercial, Who’s The Real Monster? in this Long and Boring Action movie.

wwymt:

Time, Delta and Skylar talk about Pirates, Anti-Titanic, Fruit Merchandising, French France Florida, Sneaky Godzilla, Women and Children first, Why Is He Called Animal?, Reverse Infomercial, Who’s The Real Monster? in this Long and Boring Action movie.

Time, Delta and Skylar talk about Pirates, Anti-Titanic, Fruit Merchandising, French France Florida, Sneaky Godzilla, Women and Children first, Why Is He Called Animal?, Reverse Infomercial, Who’s The Real Monster? in this Long and Boring Action movie.

95- Cobra (1986)

Time, Delta, and Skylar talk about Demolition’s Stalk & Slash, The Axe Clang Gang, A Vampire Before Christmas, Fish & Rice: American Health Care, Star Wars Drawing, and Avoiding Work in this run amok 80’s stereotype that just HAS to be a Parody.