Everyone is talking about the new Godzilla king of the monsters trailer and I am here watching Zarkorr the invader like a fucking idiot. Often in fullmoon releases you get what you see surprisingly enough but this is a total set up. This is mocking the giant monster movie by doing a sitcom of bad actors living in a world where a monster just happens to be attacking … somewhere else. There is about 1 full minute of footage of Zarkorr and they just play it over and over again in flash forwards warning of what “might” happen amongst what I only assume is supposed to be humorous moments with the weird cast members… but it’s not funny so I am not totally sure. Finally in the last minute of the film they arrive at where Zarkorr is attacking and we see nothing extra in what I guess was still supposed to be funny or ironic … I think? Or maybe just cheap and lazy. The same crew made another movie called Kraa the sea monster which is more of the same but more interesting because the supporting characters are interestingly weird not pathetic weird like in Zarkorr. So even that it’s the same no time with the monster joke B.S. it at least pays off a little more in other ways…but still.. not good.. nope nope no sir these monster movies from fullmoon are no good at all.. and I mean they suck kaiju butt. Zarkorr the bullshit more like it. I got this at Geek swap and I can see why the dvd owner was quite happy to give it away to me… thanks… but man that cover is cool…. sigh…
Just watched ANOTHER WOLF COP! I will just say this.. it is at least better than the first one. More action and he is in wolf form most of the movie this time. The returning characters from the first movie are now more in the weird world they set up so they are all much more amusing than the first time. The comedy is still trying a tad too hard with its rudeness but with the all around quality heighten you can easily look past it and honestly the flow is much better so the gags at least make sense this time. I have to ask though, what’s with all Canadian indi horror comedies using nothing but 80s reference music though?.. i am not complaining.. just wondering. Cameo by Kevin Smith is funny mainly because he always stands away from everyone so you know they had him just for one day and filmed all his parts with barely anyone there, making it accidentally hilarious. ALSO the best part is Canadian go to tv guy Yannick Bisson who makes a great villain. It’s so funny hearing him swear after years of being mister goodie two shoes in Murdoch Mysteries. I would love to see him play a super villian again as the evil pretty boy with the golden smile but a heart of evil. So yeah the first movie was badly paced and a let down to me for what a great idea it was , but I think I can totally recommend this sequel as a good wacky hoser monster mash comedy. A hairy thumb up!
If it has any popularity I will take the movie raised on it to self publish physical copies of it. Anyone who gets the e book will get 3 dollars off the physical copy. You get an E pub format and a regular rich text file of the book for your ease in reading. Its 69 pages of reviews of the worst , weirdest , cheapest and nastiest movies around . Many quick lists as well as many double features recommended with a mixed drink of choice , chosen by bartenders and filmmakers who enjoy the b movie genre. So open your mind to the world of weird and pour a glass to make it all go down a little easier in Riots Realm of ridiculously bad movies. Enjoy!
The physical release will be longer with more pictures , some extra guest reviews and a few more double feature sections. But like I said you will get your 3 bucks back if you buy that one later 🙂
Riot was sick this week and could not make the usual weekly Toonie Tuesday bad movie review. So to make up for it he will do two super quick rants on a sci fi horror double bill that may possibly be the reason he was sick. Transformations (1988) and Shadowzone (1990)
As if I needed a reason to love Night of the Demons more. But I just found out that the woman that played Angela in Night of the Demons of the niece of Rue Mcclanahan aka Blanche of Golden Girls and she hung on on set of the movie.
Well you did not ask for it .. but here it is anyways .. This weeks Terrible Toonie Tuesdayz video … HEavy Metal 2000.. owch..
A young woman must show how tough she is to travel to the far side of the galaxy to save her sister and the universe.. uhh no one remembers the plot.. they remember just some cheesy ass metal , violence and sexy cliches that is fun but very very dumb and no where near as slick and original as the original .. see what i did there.. Its Fakk 2 .. Heavy Metal 2000,, subscribe and all that shit.. Also if your in Toronto go to Eyesore Cinema on April 10th for the next live screening monster party for Riot at the movies presents Terrible Toonie Tuesdayz LIVE.. not on ice
This week your b movie addicted friend Riot talked about Alien Warrior a movie that is very confused if it wants to be about LA gang culture, about aliens or about religious imagery .. who knows. https://youtu.be/YKGJ2gV4gnw
LAST 30 MINUTES to get in your vote/donation for the MARATHON OF DOOM 2018 . If you want to make me watch even WORSE movies in my near 20 hr painathon of bad movie watching tomorrow you got to vote/donate with a dollar and a terrible movie suggestion here.. https://payhip.com/b/d4EO VOTE HERE THEN MESSAGE ME YOUR MOVIE CHOICE!
You will be thanked in my next book BADMOVIES AND BOOZE out soon.
At 1 pm eastern I will list the official time sheet for tomorrow marathon of doom so if you are insane you watch along sometimes. Then tomorrow I will be doing some heavy real time posting on my tumblr page and the Riot at the movies facebook page to keep you up to date on my slipping from sanity.. wish me luck