Category: 4life

I have been curious to watch this since I saw …

I have been curious to watch this since I saw everything is terrible edited it down to every seen Gary Busey calls someone a butthorn. Honestly it is a lot of fun but he does not actually call people butthorn enough for my liking. The film was written by Fred Olen Ray so you have to have a tad bit of an open mind and think maybe it was not written to be as serious as the movie ended up. It starts as a complete Lethal Weapon rip off (made a year after Busey played the villain in the first Lethal Weapon movie) . Busey plays a gun crazy cop called Mcbain who has an old partner that you literally wait for him to say “i’m too old for this shit”. The weapons heist they deal with in the opening scene is a lot of fun and I kind of wish the whole movie was that. However the movie quickly goes away from that as we discover Mcbain was an ex secret agent and gets suckered into going to Mexico on a secret agent style mission. Playing the silly character that is secretly an amazing bad ass gets put into a stereotypically foreign enemy territory. Henry Silva plays an amazing military bad guy (as always). There is a hilariously americana flag waving scene between Silva and 

Darlanne Fluegel but then when you start to laugh at it it turns super dark and the fun is gone again. Because Silva is incredible good at being a creepy ass bad guy. Even when he is written in a terrible racial stereotype and .


 Busey is nick named Bulletproof cause he looks unthreatening but he is so tough he takes a bullet and keeps coming while making sarcastic comments on the way.. so obviously he was the man they chose to fight guerrilla soldiers, free captive soldiers and retrieve a government super weapon called Thunderblast (which looks right out of a Roger Moore James Bond Flick). This movie plays out way too seriously for such a ridiculous super agent story and dumb sounding secret weapon.  Busey gets less and less funny as the movie goes on and then starts up a little again near the end as if they forgot that was the point. Infact a scene involving the Thunderblast and Busey is almost straight out slapstick with a wah wah joke in it. Also a scene with Busey and a giant wheel that is straight up 80s Jackie Chan action silliness. There was an awesome movie in here somewhere, it just gets lost pretty easily.  The scenes with Darlanne Fluegel are however so over the top dramatic you cant take understand how its matching with the funny scenes. Her and Busey do end up shooting and blowing up a lot of people though.  That is a charm of 80s action flicks they didn’t need to be one way or the other, they just did what they wanted to do and you kind of have to respect them for that.

A scene to remember in this is when they again make an accidental reference to Lethal Weapon there is a scene where Busey sits on a beach and remembers his ex girlfriend as we hear a sexy saxaphone playing which just seems cheesy until you realise its Busey playing the saxophone and then it just feels hilarious. But.. was it supposed to be hilarious? I am not sure. It is worth a watch for 80s action fans at least once though ya butthorns.

Recently it was available on an action movie 4 pack.  So it was totally worth the money.


Everyone is talking about the new Godzilla kin…

Everyone is talking about the new Godzilla king of the monsters trailer and I am here watching Zarkorr the invader like a fucking idiot. Often in fullmoon releases you get what you see surprisingly enough but this is a total set up. This is mocking the giant monster movie by doing a sitcom of bad actors living in a world where a monster just happens to be attacking … somewhere else. There is about 1 full minute of footage of Zarkorr and they just play it over and over again in flash forwards warning of what “might” happen amongst what I only assume is supposed to be humorous moments with the weird cast members… but it’s not funny so I am not  totally sure. Finally in the last minute of the film they arrive at where Zarkorr is attacking and we see nothing extra in what I guess was still supposed to be funny or ironic … I think? Or maybe just cheap and lazy. The same crew made another movie called Kraa the sea monster which is more of the same but more interesting because the supporting characters are interestingly weird not pathetic weird like in Zarkorr. So even that it’s the same no time with the monster joke B.S. it at least pays off a little more in other ways…but still.. not good.. nope nope no sir these monster movies from fullmoon are no good at all.. and I mean they suck kaiju butt. Zarkorr the bullshit more like it. I got this at Geek swap and I can see why the dvd owner was quite happy to give it away to me…  thanks… but man that cover is cool…. sigh…

Just watched ANOTHER WOLF COP! I will just say…

Just watched ANOTHER WOLF COP! I will just say this.. it is at least better than the first one. More action and he is in wolf form most of the movie this time.  The returning characters from the first movie are now more in the weird world they set up so they are all much more amusing than the first time. The comedy is still trying a tad too hard with its rudeness but with the all around quality heighten you can easily look past it and honestly the flow is much better so the gags at least make sense this time. I have to ask though, what’s with all Canadian indi horror comedies using nothing but 80s reference music though?.. i am not complaining.. just wondering. Cameo by Kevin Smith is funny mainly because he always stands away from everyone so you know they had him just for one day and filmed all his parts with barely anyone there, making it accidentally hilarious. ALSO the best part is Canadian go to tv guy Yannick Bisson who makes a great villain. It’s so funny hearing him swear after years of being mister goodie two shoes in Murdoch Mysteries. I would love to see him play a super villian again as the evil pretty boy with the golden smile but a heart of evil. So yeah the first movie was badly paced and a let down to me for what a great idea it was , but I think I can totally recommend this sequel as a good wacky hoser monster mash comedy. A hairy thumb up! 



Ok folks here it is … the beta of my second book on bad movies. Now for you to download and own for only 3 dollar canadian.. the cheap dollars.

If it has any popularity I will take the movie raised on it to self publish physical copies of it. Anyone who gets the e book will get 3 dollars off the physical copy.  You get an E pub format and a regular rich text file of the book for your ease in reading. Its 69 pages of reviews of the worst , weirdest , cheapest and nastiest movies around  . Many quick lists as well as many double features recommended with a mixed drink of choice , chosen by bartenders and filmmakers who enjoy the b movie genre. So open your mind to the world of weird and pour a glass to make it all go down a little easier in Riots Realm of ridiculously bad movies. Enjoy!

The physical release will be longer with more pictures , some extra guest reviews and a few more double feature sections. But like I said you will get your 3 bucks back if you buy that one later 🙂

Riot was sick this week and could not make t…

Riot was sick this week and could not make the usual weekly Toonie Tuesday bad movie review. So to make up for it he will do two super quick rants on a sci fi horror double bill that may possibly be the reason he was sick. Transformations (1988) and Shadowzone (1990)

As if I needed a reason to love Night of the…

As if I needed a reason to love Night of the Demons more. But I just found out that the woman that played Angela in Night of the Demons of the niece of Rue Mcclanahan aka Blanche of Golden Girls and she hung on on set of the movie.

Well you did not ask for it .. but here it is …

Well you did not ask for it .. but here it is anyways .. This weeks Terrible Toonie Tuesdayz video … HEavy Metal 2000.. owch.. 

A young woman must show how tough she is to travel to the far side of the galaxy to save her sister and the universe.. uhh no one remembers the plot.. they remember just some cheesy ass metal , violence and sexy cliches that is fun but very very dumb and no where near as slick and original as the original .. see what i did there.. Its Fakk 2 .. Heavy Metal 2000,, subscribe and all that shit.. Also if your in Toronto go to Eyesore Cinema on April 10th for the next live screening monster party for Riot at the movies presents Terrible Toonie Tuesdayz LIVE.. not on ice

This week your b movie addicted friend Riot …

This week your b movie addicted friend Riot talked about Alien Warrior a movie that is very confused if it wants to be about LA gang culture, about aliens or about religious imagery .. who knows.